Got a problem? Church will fix it.

After college I spent a few years working at a small business owned and operated by a Christian family. Although this business did not deal with counseling or ministry in any direct way, because there were a lot of repeat customers who were often the first generations of their family to live in the USA it wasn't uncommon for them to ask employees for advice.

One of the owners had this experience rather frequently. George (not his real name) was the type of Christian that argued against the evil influence of Harry Potter, feared the influence of anything that could be labeled "liberal," and insisted on corporate prayer at the beginning of every day. He would come up with interesting theories on how to spiritually interpret occurrences in the natural world.  He (as well as the other family members who worked there) served in some sort of leadership position at his church and would sometimes be known to make phone calls to church members during business hours in order to offer them spiritual guidance and correction. His office was close to mine, so I often overheard conversations with his clients.

One day a middle aged woman came in to talk to him. She had immigrated to the US and had two teenage sons that had grown up here. She was a frequent customer of George's, and when she was finished with business she began to confide in him that she was concerned about her sons. She was especially worried about her oldest son. His grades were slipping, he was being disrespectful to her, he was caught drinking, she thought his friends were a bad influence, and she was worried that he would start doing drugs (if he hadn't been already). Having worked with teenagers in such situations before, the conversation peaked my interest and I waited to hear how George would respond.

"Yeah, hmm...that's tough. Do you think he'd be interested in coming to my church? We've got a good youth group with a lot of nice kids. He could make better friends."

The woman returned a few days later with her sons to have them meet George. I distinctly remember her asking this uncomfortable teenager, "Do you want to go to George's church?"

I remember clenching my fists. I wanted to jump into the conversation, but I wasn't supposed to have heard it at all. I had worked with kids like him before. I knew the the tension in his decisions was far more likely to lie in the difficulty he was having  in trying to live in two worlds. His parents wanted to keep the ways of their native country and he just wanted to fit in with his American friends. Add on top of that all the pressures of simply being a teenager and you've got quite a dilemma on your hands. Being a teenager is hard enough without the extra pressure of trying to juggle the expectations of two distinct cultural identities.  In my opinion, church wasn't a "one size fits all" sort of answer for this.

I recalled this story after seeing this article.  A new law in Bay Minette, Alabama will allow judges a choice in sentencing misdemeanor offenders: jail time and a fine or church attendance every Sunday. Obvious this is being challenged on the grounds of constitutionality. That's something that should be discussed, but I'm not going to address this here. The reason I bring this up is exemplified in pastor's comment in the article:

"You show me somebody who falls in love with Jesus, and I'll show you a person who won't be a problem to society but that will be an influence and a help to those around them."

One thing that I was especially struck by during my time in American Evangelical Culture is this pervasive idea that you can solve anything by bringing someone to church. Drug addiction, rebellion, depression...you name it, and church will fix it. The belief is that if you turn your life over to Christ, you will have no desire to do sinful/detrimental things.

It sounds nice, but I think such reasoning is overly optimistic. I have known of Christians (pastors even) who beat their wives and/or children, stole property, used drugs, drank while underage, raped women, murdered someone, and the list goes on. Believing in Jesus doesn't make you suddenly incapable of such things. These are all fairly extreme examples, but just think of the Christians you know (and I include myself ) who still find themselves lying, gossiping, or being selfish from time to time. Those are all things the gospel also condemns, but belief and regular church attendance doesn't eliminate them from our lives.

Belief alone isn't enough to eliminate such things. It must be paired with a true commitment to change, and a willingness to seek out any psychological, behavioral, emotional, or mental factors that may be a large part of such decisions. Church/belief shouldn't be something people are forced into in an attempt to "fix" them. It should be a choice they make willingly as they try to discover their own spiritual fulfillment. Even more dangerous, it may ultimately have the same affect as failed healings. It shifts the burden onto those who've come to the church for help. If church/belief should be enough to take away their problems, the implication is that a failure to do so is evidence of that person's lack of authentic faith.

Back to my initial story about George's immigrant client. She did start taking her kids to his church and sending them to youth group. I don't know any of the details about their time their or how it affected her son. But I do know that a few months later, he got in trouble again, and she returned to the office to talk to George about his thoughts on her decision to send her son back to their home country away from all the bad influences. I wasn't surprised to hear that simply taking him to church and youth group wasn't enough.

The Paradox of Dave Ramsey and Christian College Tuition

When I decided to attend a Christian College, unlike most of my peers, my mother was the first to try to discourage me. Not because she isn't a Christian, but because of the sky high tuition rates such institutions charge. Private Christian colleges are expensive. Very expensive.

Many who are concerned with such costs dismiss those concerns by telling themselves that God will surely make a way for them to attend since they are stepping out in faith and demonstrating their devotion to learn more about his word. (Count the Christian culture cliches in that sentence. ) Many Christian colleges also market to prospective students with such concerns or potential alumni donors by filling their marketing materials with similar phrases.

This isn't very surprising. But I do find it confusing in light of another Evangelical trend.

Dave Ramsey

I struggle to reconcile such fervent marketing of costly education coming from the same people who adore Dave Ramsey and all of his financial teachings.

For those who are unfamiliar, Dave Ramsey is American Evangelical Culture's most beloved financial guru. Most AEC churches regularly offer his "Financial Peace University" class. They learn about "debt snowballs," cutting spending, and buying big bargains - all dressed up in shiny biblical language.

Although I respect the idea of helping people get out of debt and don't necessarily diagree with all of Ramsey's teachings, there is a lot of legitimate concern over whether such classes (and their encouragement to save wealth to "live like no one else") should be presented as Christianity. That's a fair and productive debate to have. But I'm not here to present such a debate. (If you want to discuss that issue more, SCCL brought up the topic recently.)

I want to present a different question that confuses me. How can the same culture that embraces Dave Ramsey's teachings on avoiding and getting out of debt continue to encourage their kids to take on tens of thousands of dollars of debt that will take years to pay off all in the name of "Christ-centered education?" What sort of cognitive dissonance allows them to embrace both ideas?  Am I the only one confused by this?

Disclaimer: I obviously have a horse in this race, since I really regret the amount of debt I incurred from attending such a college and don't think that it was worth it at all. If I had to do it all over again, I would choose a much cheaper public university. But that's a topic for another post...

WWJB Saturday: FORE! Edition

Found at Heading to Heaven



Comes with 3 each of John 3:16, 2 Timothy 4:7, Romans 5:8, and (my personal favorite) Psalm 31:4.



Terrible T-Shirt Tuesday: Actually, This Kind Has An "S" Edition



Found at c28





When the Word Becomes a Weapon

Upon my exit from the land of Evangelical Culture, there was one thing that surprised me most. After all that time amid small groups, Bible studies, Bible classes in college, chapel, etc., the pages of my Bible were well worn and I enjoyed digging into the text. But after my departure, things changed. The words themselves were the same, but reading them left me numb. I did not respond to them as I once had. They seemed foreign to me. I struggled to separate the text itself from the hurtful manner in which it had been distorted - distortions that resulted in abuse, control, and oppression. Those distortions now clouded out the true meaning of the texts.

I had never heard anyone talk about this. I wondered if something was wrong with me or if anyone else had experienced this. I do still read my Bible, but it took a new approach to get me there.

Yesterday I can across an article documenting an experience very similar to my own. If you've ever been in that situation, are currently in that situation, or are simply curious, I would encourage you to read it. The article is a bit long, but worth it. Below is the link along with a few excepts I especially enjoyed.


How Do You Study the Bible After Someone Has Bludgeoned You With It? 
(Quick side note: The title totally reminds me of this clip from the movie "Saved!")

"I want the reader to read, hear, and know well that I would have done anything to be able to read and study like I had before the crushing blow of realization of spiritual abuse knocked me flat. I had to develop an entirely new relationship with the Word and Bible Study (based upon purer motives), and this did not come easily or quickly for me."

"I knew that I’d been shaken, but I had no idea how deeply all of this would affect me. I felt like an empty shell of a hypocrite who had started out to worship and serve and know God. My motives and my efforts were good, yet I’d been mixed up in horrible things and with some flawed and dangerous people, serving the church instead of God."

"For all of my diligent study and seeking God, neither my knowledge of the Bible nor the Holy Spirit in me protected me from this terrible harm! It seemed and felt like my whole religious experience had been flawed from the beginning, and I THOUGHT that I WAS standing “in His strength alone!” I’d done everything I knew to do to be wise and true, yet I’d believed a lie. Did I even have any radar? What good had it done me? I’d stumbled, fell, and I’d been hurt. In my black and white thought, it felt like the whole of the journey had been wrong, and it was the foundation for MY EVERYTHING.

The next morning, I picked up my Bible and *BAM*! For the first time in my life, those well-worn pages felt foreign and strange. I knew that book and could quote it and find in it what I could not quote by memory. I’d taken what was given to me and made it my own. Or had I?... At the time, the trauma was too intense for me to think clearly through the self-doubt. I went into an existential panic, unable to figure out what was really real. I knew those verses and I’d known what they meant."

"All I knew was that this Bible felt unsafe because I couldn’t trust myself at all. How did I know anything? I broke out into a cold sweat and wanted to vomit. I knew that Word was my best medicine, but if I couldn’t be sure about what it meant, the meaning I ascribed to the words could potentially be as bad as the poison I’d been ladling down my throat for four years in Mumford and Gothard Land. I’d taken it and had no clue that I’d been drinking something tainted. And then I felt anger that was so intense, I did not even understand it as anger."

"I don’t know how to communicate to you how deeply devastated I was. As I think back on it and having moved through this old pain, I cannot even really connect with the terrible pain anymore myself, a good thing. I mourned as if someone had died, but I wasn’t sure who had died. I think that a huge chunk of my carnal nature died, but a fantasy died too – one I’d lived in for most of my life."

I could go on, but I'll leave some of the article for you to read for yourself.  She goes on to explain what helped her work through it. The idea of this process being one of loss and mourning is one that resonates with me. Although I can't relate to every aspect of what she's saying, it's always comforting to know that this struggle isn't uncommon for those who have left unhealthy religious situations. If this is the journey that you are currently on, I hope you find help or comfort in this and I wish you all the best.

Us vs. Them

I'm not going to lie. I have a bit of church melancholy this week. As I reflect on what I've been through, where I am, and where I hope to be, there is one thing that becomes shockingly clear. The current state of American Christianity frames life fully within a paradigm of Us vs. Them.

I see the posts from old Christian college classmates on Facebook. I hear claims made my prominent Christian leaders. The majority of them all share the underlying current of that paradigm. It's not enough to disagree with homosexuality. They must claim that the "gay agenda" is trying to corrupt our children. It's not enough to share their belief in the importance of parenthood. They must claim that the secular world hates children. It's not enough to simply accept that they disagree with others on some theological viewpoints. They must declare that the other is backsliding from God and turning away from the truth. The religion that follows the Prince of Peace is continually trying to wage a cultural war with anyone whose opinion differs. How did it come to this?

Most of all, where does this leave people like myself? Those of us who still seek to explore the mysteries of God, but have left American Evangelical Culture behind are displaced. We still embrace Christianity, but not the culture that continues to distort it. That culture views us with pity, suspicion, and disdain, seeing us as nothing more in their eyes than a sad example of how the world leads people astray. Yet, we aren't ready to abandon theological endeavors altogether. As Evangelical Culture becomes more and more pervasive, what place of refuge is left for us?

Reason Enough for Dismissal?

Throughout the ages, the church has never ceased to have theological debates. There is no time in history where any group has been able to agree on every issue. That's nothing new. But what I'm amazed at lately as I read articles from various Christian groups/churches and hear things that Christians say is that in this day and age there seems to be this widespread acceptance that there are some issues that warrant completely cutting ties with others.

Don't get me wrong. That in and of itself isn't new. Many Christian denominations have engaged in such practices of shunning or excommunicating throughout the years. I guess I've just been trying to understand such a practice more in light of the Gospel of Christ. And the more I try, the less sense it makes to me.

My biggest sticking point it this: How does one determine exactly what issue is enough to completely cut someone off from your church and possibly turn them away from God all together? What issue is enough? Sexual immorality? Homosexuality? Liberalism?

For the record, those specific issues are all ones that I know of being used as a reason for kicking someone out of a Christian school or church. Does this make sense? Can we sustain the teaching of a gospel of grace when we fall so heavily on the call to repent and so lightly on the concept of forgiveness?

Yet, even if you believe that these are enough to exclude someone, why these issues? Why not issues of pride, greed, lying, or desires for fame and power? All those are issues that can (and have) greatly corrupt(ed) the church.

In end, in a world that is so divisive, judgemental, and exclusive, I would hope that the church could find a way to establish itself as a place of unity, acceptance, and inclusiveness. Yet that is far from our reputation. There's something wrong with that.